Future Captain of Industry Vomits on Self
Columbia University junior and future Wall Street executive Tyler Phillips vomited on himself during day three of a Spring Break bender.
The incident occurred Thursday morning at 1:45 AM. Mr. Phillips argued with a bouncer, resulting in the future multi-millionaire being ejected from the club.
Mr. Phillips issued a comment to Twitter the following morning, saying “Fuck, where’s my wallet?”
The future Hedge fund manager will end up buying that bar and Twitter in 2024.
While this incident embarrassed Mr. Phillips, it will in no way be as embarrassing as when the picture of the vomit-covered Phillips is leaked during his 2032 Presidential run.