Kony 2012 Campaign of Terror Pledges to Continue
Uganda — Lord’s Resistance Army leader Joesph Kony released a statement through his Kony 2012 campaign of terror pledging to stay in the racial genocide business for at least another four years.
“The Kony 2012 campaign stays committed to reaching out to key minority groups in an attempt to discern how to best eliminate all of them,” A Kony campaign aide said early Tuesday.
Many experts saw Kony’s long history of mixing religious zealotry with genocide as preparation for his inevitable formal campaign, which kicked in March with a 30-minute campaign video outlining his career accomplishments.
Kony’s Campaign Kick-off Video
A new Rasmussen poll has Kony polling around 70 percent favorable rating among people who are not on his bad side, while a similar poll of likely-to-be-viciously-murdered poll has Kony at a record low .00001 percent.
In related news, the Brony 2012 campaign continues its struggle to attract supporters who are not post-post-ironic manchildren.
Invisible Children, Kony 2012 Co-Founder Arrested for Masturbating in Public, this time Not on YouTube
March 16th, 2012 will go down as one of the biggest exposure days in internet history. Earlier, I reported on Mike Daisy being exposed for lying about working conditions at a Chinese factory. Now, Jason Russel, co-founder of Invisible Children, was found publicly masturbating and vandalizing property in San Diego last night.
Jason Russel, 33, was allegedly found masturbating in public, vandalizing cars and possibly under the influence of something, according to SDPD. He was detained at the intersection of Ingraham Street and Riviera Road.
Critics around the world are now disgusted, but the big question now is if this literal act of public masturbation was as bad as the “KONY 2012” viral video whose goal was to sell merch featuring a murderous dictator in order to “raise awareness” but not actually “do anything.”
Invisible Children’s CEO released a statement on the situation.
Jason Russell was unfortunately hospitalized yesterday suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition. He is now receiving medical care and is focused on getting better. The past two weeks have taken a severe emotional toll on all of us, Jason especially, and that toll manifested itself in an unfortunate incident yesterday. Jason’s passion and his work have done so much to help so many, and we are devastated to see him dealing with this personal health issue. We will always love and support Jason, and we ask that you give his entire family privacy during this difficult time.”
Since the statment mentions exhaustion, it’s pretty safe to say that Jason Russel is on drugs, similar to times when Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan were hospitalized for similar “exhaustion.”
The only other hypothesis is that Russel spent all of his awareness raising awareness, to the point that he lacked the self-awareness to realize that it is not cool to masturbate in public, even if it will get KONY 2012 back in the headlines.