Young Man Yells At Cloud

2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game Moderators Announced

While the presidential debates between President Obama and Governor Romney have no real chance of matching the highs of the 2011 GOP debates or the 2008 VP debate, they still are a time-honored tradition that allows political pundits to be more like ESPN post-game analysts and say a lot of empty words to fill time between ads for gold and cialis. The details are:

On Oct. 3, Jim Lehrer of PBS NewsHour will moderate the first of three televised debates between President Obama and Republican Mitt Romney. The Denver debate will focus on domestic policy.

On Oct. 11, Martha Raddatz of ABC News will moderate the sole debate between Vice President Joe Biden and Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan, in Danville, Ky.

On Oct. 16, Crowley will moderate the second presidential debate, in Hempstead, N.Y. Unlike the other debates, it will be a town hall-style discussion, with questions coming primarily from “undecided voters” selected by the Gallup polling organization.

On Oct. 22, Bob Schieffer of CBS News will host the final presidential debate, in Boca Raton, Fla. It will focus on foreign policy.

Since Romney and Obama are fairly stiff, boring individuals, the drinking games associated with the debates will be the only way to squeeze a modicum of pleasure from the ” You want to kill medicare/No U!” that will inevitably dominate the debates. 

DRINKING GAME RULES

October 3rd Domestic Policy Debate - Focus on Unemployment, Healthcare, Immigration, Education

Drink When Someone Says/Does: Tax, job(s), Medicare, Europe, unemployment, job creator, health reform, obamacare, romneycare, health reform, immigrants, deportation, undocumented workers (liberal)/Illegal immigrants (conservative), Obama smirks, Romney cackles.

October 11th Vice-Presidential Debate - Focus on not saying anything dumb to hurt the top of the ticket

Drink When Someone Says/Does - Pretty much same as above, when you imagine Paul Ryan naked, when your imagined naked Paul Ryan morphs into Ron Paul, when you imagine Sarah Palin naked for old times’ sake. 

October 16th - Town Hall Debate by “Undecided” Voters - Hear political questions from the person in front of you in the line at a restaurant who just now chose to explore every option on the menu when you only have ten minutes left on your break and you can’t be late again or else it will be a written warning instead of a verbal warning. That is the type of person who will decide this election. Of course they got a woman to moderate this debate, considering that WOMEN BE INDECISIVE amirite? Periods.

Drink When Someone Says/Does: Unemployed, single-mother/parent, kids, college, “what does x mean for me”, a slight pause while asking a question indicating narrowly avoided racism/sexism/or all-purpose ignorance.

October 11th Foreign Policy Debate - Focus mostly on Middle-East wars, trade with China, Eurozone Debt Crisis, and maybe a little Syria sprinkled in for good measure.

Drink When Someone Says/Does: Iraq, Iran, China, North Korea, Russia, Syria, Euro, default, Germany, Greece, democracy, Afghanistan, apologizing for America (conservative), when Obama is asked a question about emerging BRIC nations but you can tell by his eyes that he just wants to say “I killed Bin Laden come at me bro!”, trade, exports, imports, Beijing.