Pokemon Card Last Hope to end Midwest Drought
Omaha — Having exhausted all other options, residents of exceptionally drought-stricken Midwest have rallied around a Pokemon card as their last hope for rain.
The move followed earlier attempts by farmers from Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Indiana, Illinois, Oklahoma, and Nebraska failed to revive their crumbling crops.
“We thought seeding the clouds would help the rain come, but no dice. My cousin in Kansas fasted and prayed for two whole weeks. He almost died,” Missouri farmer Conner Dickerson said.
Water conservation techniques, while stabilizing, still present issues for farmers as they head into the fall harvest. The U.S. Department of Agriculture projects that at best, current water-saving techniques will only sustain crops until late August. Such grim projections led an Illinois preacher to listen to his son’s solution.
“I said to my father, what if we just asked Blastoise to make it rain,” 8-year-old Trevor Thomas said.
Soon, young Trevor’s idea caught on as quickly as the wildfires currently threatening crops across the Midwest.
Weather experts, however, do not believe that worshiping a cardboard playing card will do much to bring rain.
“This won’t work, but at this point, it is best to still give them something to believe in,” Oklahoma City Weatherman Kyle Frost said.