Young Man Yells At Cloud

President Obama to Reinstate F.U.R.B.Y. Domestic Surveillance Program in September

Washington — The Department of Homeland security announced today that it will reinstate its Federal Undercover Reconaisaince Buddy Yapping (F.U.R.B.Y) program, which began during the Clinton administration and continued during the George W. Bush presidency.

The new and improved robotic buddy is due to hit store shelves in September, and unsurprisingly it’s much more technologically advanced than its predecessors — it features LCD eyes, rubber ears that twitch and move, touch-enabled sensors, and the ability to interact with other furbies or even an iPad through high frequency audio. Furby will dance to music, knows if you’re hanging it upside down, and has multiple personalities that you can switch between.

Video Demonstration

Counterintelligence experts believe that the program was resurrected with new, high tech surveillance features in order to better monitor new technologies, like smart phones and tablet computers.

F.U.R.B.Y.s will initially be used to help the federal government collect intelligence on drug trafficking in the Southwest, cyber crime, and as poll watchers during elections.

This move falls in line with President Obama’s preference of precise, robot assisted warfare over conventional human troops.

“The President remains committed to using methods which minimize military and civilian casualties, ” White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today.

The F.U.R.B.Y. program is not without criticism. The American Civil Liberties Union issued a statement calling the program “an unreasonable encroachment into the privacy of all Americans.”

Source: theverge.com