Capitalism Wins 46th Consecutive Super Bowl
Indianapolis — In what many sports commentators and fans are calling a “blowout”, Capitalism has won its 46th straight Super Bowl.
Capitalism, an economic philosophy which advocates for the free market to regulate itself, won handily, particularly because its opponent never showed up. Despite this small fact, Capitalism gave the game its best shot, wowwing the massive American audience with ads ranging from Chrysler to GoDaddy.com.
Capitalism put on a game to between the New England Patriots and New York Giants to entertain football fans, while also scheduling Madonna for the halftime show to entertain creepy internet stans.
“I only watch the Super Bowl to be marketed to!” an 18-35 year old male with a median income of $50,000 per year said.
While this season has just ended, people already predict that Capitalism will continue its football dominance next year.