February 2012
18 posts
11 tags
Santorum Opposes Choosy Moms' Right To Choose Jiff
Grand Rapids, Mich — Following his second place finish in the Michigan Republican Primary, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum held a press conference to outline in strategy for Super Tuesday. While Santorum stressed his conservative credentials and Christian faith, he also unveiled a new talking point.
“I’m going to talk about something that no other President has. For...
5 tags
Bold "Fun."
I recently listened to the band FUN’s new album, Some Nights. I first heard about the band because Janelle Monae is featured on their big single We Are Young.
The album is pretty good. Lead singer Nate Ruess’ voice is reminiscent of Freddie Mercury, particularly on the first two tracks.
More interesting to me, than the music, is the bold decision to name their band...
7 tags
TED Talk: Comedy is Translation
This TED Talk, by Chris Bliss, is a great, short outlining of the sort of ideals comedians of all kinds should be thinking about. While his examples mostly focus on political satire, the guidelines he lays out are applicable to all forms of comedy.
10 tags
Romney is Statistically a Generic Republican. Is...
Romney did it! In his quest to become the perfect candidate for the office he is running for at that particular time, Romney has achieved the coveted “generic Republican” position usually held by a hypothetical candidate.
This information came out of Nate Silver’s excellent statistical analysis, which used DW-Nominate, a system of measure the ideology of Congressmen based...
7 tags
Web III.0 (Memes Within Memes)
This week, I noticed a new trend on Facebook - MSU Memes. MSU, because I went to Michigan State University, but the newsfeeds of college students and recent grads everywhere have been inundated with similar pictures detailing inside jokes of their college.
These memes are refried versions of memes that were once funny a couple of years ago, which is about a million years in internet time.
In...
11 tags
Motorola Stealth Announces New Android Tablet on...
It seems that Motorola has chosen to unveil its newest Android tablet, the Droid Zyboard, on the popular TV show Saturday Night Live.
While no specs were released, our tech blog photo analysis says that the Droid Zyboard Tablet probably runs Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwhich, has an 8.9 inch screen, and comes with the newest version of MOTOBlur.
We will release more information as soon as a...
11 tags
Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse
Whitney Houston died this afternoon, and a cause of death is unknown. The internet exploded with shock, particularly because of her past drug problems. Many, myself included, thought she was on a path to recovery. Whitney even has a movie, “Sparkle”, coming out this summer.
The outpouring of surprise and sadness is somewhat surprising, considering how Amy Winehouse’s death was...
12 tags
Pelosi Slams Colbert in New Attack Ad
Stephen Colbert is back in the real game of politics, unlimited donations, after a brief stint running for President of South Carolina. Today, Nancy Pelosi released a vicious ad full of hate because she is jealous of all of the money Colbert SuperPAC has raised.
It’s obvious that Pelosi, who is still mad about losing Speaker of the House to a human orange, is taking her anger out on...
10 tags
Obama is the #1 War President, Has Declared War on...
Everyone knows that President Barack Hussein Obama has managed to be the LEAST EFFECTIVE PRESIDENT EVER while simultaneously COMPLETELY RUINING AMERICA (via contradictory rhetoric). Today, Mother Jones, the top news source for Portlandia characters, compiled a list of 109 things Obama has declared war on. Most of these just link to blogs written by nobodies with too much time on their hands.
...
13 tags
Santorum Wins Three Caucuses and 0 Delegates. Is...
Tuesday was a huge day for Rick Santorum. He crushed Mitt Romney in Minnesota, Missouri, and Colorado, winning tons of bragging rights and also zero pledged delegates. This is great news for Rick Santorum’s grandchildren, who will get to hear the story of when grandpappy Santorum beat eventual GOP nominee Mitt Romney in three essentially pointless contests.
Some pundits are saying that...
16 tags
Michigan Senate Candidate Tries to Bring Back...
Pete Hoekstra is the Republican candidate for the Senate. He is running against incumbent Democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow. Apparently he likes puns AND xenophobia, so he aired this brand new ad during the Super Bowl.
In the video, an asian woman speaks in broken engrish about how Debbie Stabenow will spend government money to send jobs to China.
“Your economy get very weak, ours get...
9 tags
Capitalism Wins 46th Consecutive Super Bowl
Indianapolis — In what many sports commentators and fans are calling a “blowout”, Capitalism has won its 46th straight Super Bowl.
Capitalism, an economic philosophy which advocates for the free market to regulate itself, won handily, particularly because its opponent never showed up. Despite this small fact, Capitalism gave the game its best shot, wowwing the massive American...
9 tags
Nicki Minaj Makes Music Video So Bad Even BET...
(Nadir Watch is an ongoing series looking for the point when American society and culture “bottoms out”)
Nicki Minaj is a famous rapper/singer best known for a guest verse on Kanye’s “Monster” and her own hit “Super Bass”. Super Bass was so huge that it even inspired a little British girl to sing it on Ellen.
Since then, Nicki Minaj has really...
11 tags
Susan G. Komen Foundation Aborts Plan to Defund...
There has been a massive scandal this week about the Susan G. Komen Foundation planning to defund Planned Parenthood, which, according to congressional Republicans, is a national chain of abortion clinics not unlike McDonald’s.
This move shocked pro-choice people around the country, but it should not have. Republicans like defunding things, like ACORN, federal government, arts...
14 tags
Terrence Malick Announces 35,000 Slide PowerPoint...
Los Angeles, Calif — Terrence Malick, director of “The Thin Red Line” and more recently, “Tree of Life”, announced a 35,000 slide powerpoint meant to define and explain humankind’s role in the universe.
“While many praised Tree of Life for it’s grand scale, I personally feel that there are many areas I could expand upon.”
Malick said that he...
7 tags
Romney Sings at Campaign Event, Proving He'll Do...
Mitt Romney has been running for President since he was Governor of Massachusetts. Romney has proven time and again that he is willing to ‘do anything’ to win President, for example, switching from a pro-gay rights, pro-choice, health care reform governor to a anti-gay rights, pro-life, anti-his-own-health-care-reform-that-he-passed-as-governor Presidential candidate.
Romney is...
8 tags
Blackberry Rebrands Itself As a Saturday Morning...
Blackberry has fallen on rough times ever since people stopped wanting phones with more than ___ buttons. They have gone through corporate rearrangements, even appointing a new CEO in an attempt to win back the future from iPhone and Android.
Now they have a BOLD new plan to win. They will market their device to the neglected children of high-powered CEOs who also own Blackberries unless...
14 tags
Florida GOP Electorate PANS Gingrich. Is this...
Tuesday, January 31st will go down as one of the great Diss Days of internet critisism. Prior to the actual voting, Newt Gingrich vowed not to leave the race, choosing instead to drag out the GOP race all the way to the convention because he’s more interested in winning than Obama losing. Anyway, the voters of Florida dissed Gingrich by voting for Romney in droves.
The bigger question...
